Wisdom #10: Trustworthy People (10 Things)

• 1. Because trust is based on truth, trustworthy people must be truthful.

Trustworthy people know that it's not enough to possess a truth; the truth must possess them. What is a common result when we learn that someone has lied to us? Whatever he or she says after that may be suspected of being false, however true it may be. Likewise, lies defended as white cannot always be easily dismissed. What we perceive as harmless or even beneficial may not be so in the eyes of the deceived.

• 2. Trustworthy people are honest.

They match their words and feelings with their thoughts and actions. They do not think one thing and speak another. When we bad mouth people behind their back and sweet-talk them to their face, we undermine trust. Trustworthy people do not take what belongs to others, whether it is ideas, statements, credit or possessions, without their permission. They share successes by giving credit where credit is due. In addition to being honest themselves, trustworthy people strive to keep their associates honest by communication and constructive dialogue.

• 3. Trustworthy people are reliable; they keep their promises.

Their "yes" means yes, and their "no" means no. They honor their commitments. This includes keeping appointments, whether they are with clients, colleagues, sales personnel or family members. Few things inspire trust in another sooner than punctuality. You might as well steal another's money as their time. 

• 4. Trustworthy people are loyal.

They try to be especially loyal to those who are not present. By defending those who are absent, we retain and build the trust of those who are present. Trustworthy people know that to repeat unkind gossip about others is a divisive way of praising one's self. Therefore, they are careful not to repeat gossip, unless they have a sound basis for considering it to be true and beneficial.

• 5. Trustworthy people are not biased or prejudiced.

They strive to attribute good motives to the actions of other people. We are all prone to being too quick to censure others, when we will not endure advice ourselves. Being quick to question the motives of others is not a sign of trust. We usually give ourselves credit for having good motives for what we say and do. Shouldn't we do the same for others?

• 6. Trustworthy people are humble, recognizing that the truth may not always be with them.

They interact with others on the assumption that they do not have all the answers and all the insights. They don't have a superior attitude. They value the viewpoints, judgments and experiences of others. Therefore, trustworthy people try to understand others' viewpoints, while maintaining their own commitment to proper values and principles. Having the inner strength to be humble, especially during times of provocation, is often the difference between those who command, and those who demand respect. Likewise, having a humble demeanor protects a counselor from making damaging remarks and errors, and thereby makes advice easier to accept.

• 7. Trustworthy people are accountable.

They try to recognize, admit and accept responsibility for their own mistakes. If they say things they didn't intend to say, especially under times of stress, they are quick to apologize. They recognize that anger often gets them into trouble, but it is pride that keeps them there.

• 8.Trustworthy people are cooperative.

They abide by the rules and policies of the organization. At the same time, they do not invalidate the spirit of the law by demanding the letter of the law. They know that just because they have the right to do it, doesn't mean it's right to do it.

• 9. Trustworthy people are just.

They are just not only to those who are just with them, but also with those who endeavor to injure them. Trustworthy people strive to return kindness for offense and patience for impatience. They would rather suffer wrong than do wrong! They recognize that the best defense against misrepresentation is fine conduct.

• 10. Trustworthy people promote communication and understanding.

They know that open and honest communication is built on the cement of trust.

We can communicate with others we trust, almost without words. We even can make mistakes in our verbal communication, and still find that they understand our true meaning.

When the level of trust is low, however, others may not believe even our most eloquent words. To foster trust, trustworthy people strive to share ideas and rationale for their positions and desires, while maintaining genuine respect for others' ideas and perspectives. Why? Because they have learned that when trust is low, communication is exhausting, time-consuming and often ineffective.

In summary, trustworthy people know that trust is gained more by conduct than just thoughts and words. Their daily conduct provides evidence of their intent to be honest, reliable, loyal, unbiased, humble, accountable, cooperative, just and communicative. However, if trustworthiness is to grow, still more is required. Our conduct must be motivated by trusting others, in addition to our desire to be trusted by them. Trust is a two-way street. To reach its greatest potential, it must allow interaction in two directions.

If we begin our relationships with individuals, organizations, or businesses with a lack of trust, then our relationships with them may not grow. Why? Without trust, there isn't a foundation to build permanent cooperation and collaboration. Likewise, if misunderstandings develop, there is little hope that distrusting individuals will work together to resolve their differences. Instead of talking directly with each other in this situation, it is common to tell our version of misunderstandings to others in order to justify our position. What is the antidote for a tendency not to trust others? The antidote is unselfishness. Our trust in others is a form of generosity. To paraphrase the golden rule, shouldn't we strive to trust others, as we would have them trust us? 

Taken from here